I care alot about hin. He has a fabulous job and is generous but He has mood swings , drinks, and smokes pot, sleep apenea,and a heart mumur. All that could be dealt with but I dont want to end up a widow .Hes very overweight too. I love him but I cant stand behind him and watch him kill himself with destructive habits. I try so hard to stay well . I have let him know where I stand. I tell him hes got to love himself too. We just got back from a 4 day vacation and I feel like a hurt stressed out nurse. I deserve better . If my care and love isnt enough than it seems to me my love is wasted. This is 20 years I have invested in a kind man. I know the awnser. May I have some encouragement on letting go. betty